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Listen to Kinky on Imus in the Morning!

Kinky Friedman takes on the establishment. Pity the establishment.

By Lance Contrucci

The governor says knock it off!" It is a noisy morning at Kinky Friedman's ranch outside Austin. His five mutts, the Friedmans, are roughhousing something fierce, and a scruffy guest from New York named Ratso is loudly lamenting the state of Texas bagels. Friedman, puffing on a Kinkycristo cigar-his latest business venture-is boasting that he won $36,000 in Las Vegas over the weekend. "And I was down $200,000 at one point." But no one can hear him.

"That's it!" he barks. "The governor says the Friedmans are going outside!"

O'REILLY: "Unresolved problem" segment tonight, at this point, the Reverend Wright's story is winding down, but not fast enough for DNC chief Howard Dean.

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WALLACE: Governor, are you suggesting that bringing up Jeremiah Wright is race baiting and hate and divisive?

DEAN: Yes, I am suggesting that kind of stuff. I think when you start bringing up candidates that have nothing to do with the issues -- when you start bringing up things that have nothing to do with the candidate and nothing to do with the issues, that's race baiting and that's exactly what it is. Just like Willie Horton was race baiting so many years ago.

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: "the O'Reilly Factor" is on. Tonight...

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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hillary Clinton's attacking. But what she's not telling but her health care plan? It forces everyone to buy insurance.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He couldn't answer tough questions in the debate. So Barack Obama is making false charges against Hillary's health care plan.

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O'REILLY: Showdown in Pennsylvania. The polls say Hillary's ahead. We'll have analysis by Rick Santorum, Kiki Friedman and Juan Williams.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: "The O'Reilly Factor" is on. Tonight...

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JEREMIAH WRIGHT, REVEREND: FOX News can't understand that. O'Reilly will never get that. Sean Hannity's stupid fantasy will keep him forever stuck on stupid when it comes to comprehending how you can love a brother who does not believe what you believe.

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O'REILLY: He's back and he's not happy. Reverend Jeremiah Wright lashing out against FOX News.
But does that help Barack Obama?
Also, Hillary attacking Obama for disrespecting the folks.

O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.
In the "Unresolved Problem" segment tonight, as we mentioned, some far-left Web sites posted hateful things about Charlton Heston just moments after he died. And far-left radio bomb-thrower Ed Schultz said this about John McCain.

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ED SCHULTZ, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: What type of message does it send to the rest of the world when we're occupying Iraq and we've got a candidate calling for more of a military buildup? This is outrageous. The man is a warmonger.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: "The O'Reilly Factor" is on. Tonight, Reverend Jeremiah Wright returns to Chicago and they love him.

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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We love you. We thank God for you.

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O'REILLY: We will show you what happened.

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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So do you have anything to say to the victims of these child rapists that you know.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's a ridiculous question.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What's so ridiculous about it?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Absolutely absurd question for you to ask me.

BILL O'REILLY: "The O'Reilly Factor" is on. Tonight...

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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm not going to get in the gutter like that.

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O'REILLY: James Carville calls Governor Bill Richardson Judas for endorsing Obama. We'll have a report on the bitter dissent inside the Democratic party.

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UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: ...thou shalt not kill.

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O'REILLY: Another Catholic church invaded by protesters, this time on Easter Sunday.

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UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The bible calls for peace.

Obama's Preacher Stirs Controversy

O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.
In the "Campaign '08" segment tonight, we continue our analysis of Barack Obama's campaign in light of the stunning pastor controversy. Joining us now from Washington, FOX News analyst Juan Williams, and from Austin, Texas, human being analyst Kinky Friedman. That's the only -- only description I have of you. People going who is he? What does he do? I said he's a human being annual analyst.
All right. How is this playing -- how is this playing among the folks in Texas, Kinky?

O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.

In the "Campaign '08" segment tonight, it's hard to believe, but that dopey commercial with the phone ringing in the White House at 3 a.m. is still getting publicity. Here's the take from "Saturday Night Live."

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FRED ARMISEN, CAST MEMBER, NBC'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE": Hillary? I'm sorry to call this late again, but I need your help.

AMY POEHLER, CAST MEMBER, NBC'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE": Mr. President, what can I do?

ARMISEN: The CIA just confirmed that Iran has completed a nuclear device. It looks like the Russians, the North Koreas, Hugo Chavez have been helping them.